While thousands of women are clamoring to get their hands on the latest designer vagina, experts warn that they should stay away from getting "the Fergie." "Ms. Ferguson came into my office last week, and let's just say her vagina was a train wreck," said Los Angeles surgeon, Dr. David Matlock, "it looked like a truck ran over an opossum."
"I assembled a team of specialists together and we determined the best thing we could do for the patient was to take the rubber end of a plunger and attach that between her legs. We later removed some hair from her left armpit and glued that to the plunger for effect. The result was a dramatic improvement, in terms of aesthetic appeal and touch and feel for both the patient and her significant others," said Dr. Matlock.
Let that be a lesson to my young female readers. You only get one vagina. Make certain that you don't wear it out before you get to 35. And that's one to grow on.
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