It almost seems trite, my New Year's Resolution is like so many other American's goal, to lose weight. Yep, this year I want my ass to fit in one seat on SouthWest Airlines, I can no longer afford to buy three tickets every time I want to fly.
I am going to take a different look at losing weight. Not only will I be even sexier than before, but I will be even richer. Women try to keep your hands off this! Yep, I will be able to channel all of the money I would have spent on 3 airline tickets and #5 combo meals to what really matters, cheap, young, women.
You may ask yourself "how is it that Darth is going to lose all this weight, when millions of Americans try each year and fail?" Well, it's easy, folks. I have a hidden weapon on my side, and I am going to share it with you.
It's called the Ms. Pacman Diet. It's very simple to understand and follow. All you have to do is eat only things found in the Ms. Pacman game. That means my new Food World will revolve around Cherries, Strawberries, Apricots: Pretzels, Apples, Pears, and Bananas. I can put my abdominizer aside and and just eat until my heart's content.
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