From: The Todd
So I went to xxxx's dr today to have an analysis done on my babymaking capabilities. I don't know if you ever did this, but it involved stepping into a bathroom that contained sterile receptacles, detailed written instructions, moist towelettes, and a magazine selection. The selection? 2 Playboys, 4 Penthouse, 1 "Pepper" (sistas), and 1 New Yorker. And here I thought I was the only one who pleasured themselves to the work of Mike Twohy.
show details 1:36 PM (7 hours ago)
WTF is with the New Yorker? Is this for gay guys or just bored onlookers?
I hope you took the copy of Pepper home with you and said "If you would only be more like this -- and point at page 38.
I am no sperm doctor, but I bet it's not that you have lazy sperm. It's that you are so smart that you have taken all their intelligence and you have really dumb sperm. Go to Borders and get a copy of Where Did I Come From. Go home, close the doors and pull off your pants. Now read the book to your unit a few times, emphasizing key points. It also helps if you train them a bit like the old guy did in rocky -- maybe have them chase chickens or something. Either way, your new enhanced sperm will be out there breaking eggs and shit in no time.
I just got home from another trip to the ER. Had more bleeding and the Dr. was afraid I was starting kidney failure. Total false alarm and I had a choice of going back to work or going home and relaxing. I went home.
If you continue to have procreation issues, we can always work out a timeshare with Gina. She's a great kid with low miles and a number of options.
From: Darth Roker
Sent: Monday, June 13, 2011 3:01 PM
To: The Todd
Subject: Re: TMI
I hear her concerns. Just be weary of fertility docs -- I know 3 couples that used the down here. 2 had triplets, the other was supposed to have triplets, but ended up with twins -- they figure the other two ganged up and ate the third.
I am sure all will be fine.
Nurse, I missed the cup... Again. Should I just get that sample off the book case and call it good, or should I get another beaker and a copy of Rachel Rays new magazine?