I Got NCAA Fever in My Socks and Pants

Guest Blogging today will be Chen Ye Phatt, Globally renknowed sports reporter from Laos:

Last night I hung with the Big Boys. After matches over I hang around locker room to meet and ask questions. Let me tell you I don't know how Nate Funk can run without tripping over his Wang, ha, ha. He must lose balance.

Anywho (I pickup English good now), I got to meet Coach Bob Knight and we hit it off good. He take me out to dinner -- tell me he know where they cook real good dog -- the way I like it. I laugh and say "As long as you pay!"

So I roll with Bob Knight possee last night. Me, Bob, and Larry Eustachy and other hangers-on. Bob take us to Bonanza Steak House tell me to get the Prime Rib -- it good cut of dog -- German Sheppard he think. He say that Sirloin piece of crap Cocker Spaniel. At salad bar I get in fake fight with him and tell him only sissies fight at salad bar -- real men fight at real bar -- that's when Larry say -- no bar -- he knows of party down street.

We get to table and I make coach night oragami chair out of napkins. Bob throws it and starts to choke Larry -- he so funny. Bonanza fun place -- I love the soups and ice cream --- all you can eat soft serve. Bob tell me I must use cup, not hands.

We then went partying in school van. First visit Cindy Olson's 14th birthday party. Cake good, but Larry and Bob need some action. So we go to different party that really hop. By 2:30 Bob doing body shots off of Larry's ass. It very funny. Later we visit local gentlemen's club. The women here were older than the women in Laos clubs -- they over 18 here. I always thought Bob more of a stick buck on forehead type of guy to tip waitres boobs -- turn out he more of mouth tipper. Larry kind of cheap not tip much -- did tip some Tide coupons as joke. Larry then take woman back to Champagne room for "private dance" gone for hours. Bob say that amateur. Loads buss with women take them back to hotel for party with team.

Bob drop me off at Panda Buffet say "you home now, son." Funny guy.

My bracket all busted. Puke in my sock and pants, but having good time.