Whoever stole my low calorie Lean Pockets, please put them back in the refrigerator where you took them from. I realize it's possible that one of you took my Lean Pockets by mistake or maybe you can't read my name, which was clearly spelled out on the bag. Please note that I am not going to let this subject die like I did last month when someone took my box of Pizza Rolls. Let's not even discuss the Uncrustables incident that took place in February. This will not go away.
Maybe you were hungry and couldn't afford to buy your lunch but you were too embarrassed to ask for a handout, even though most of you are selfish bastards who make a lot more money than me and you can afford to buy your own damn Lean Pockets.
Maybe you took a load in the eye last night at the "Crank shaft and your vision is blurry. Maybe you are just too damn lazy to walk down to Scott's and order food by the color like everyone else does. Sure it is over-priced slop, but it's your slop. Deal with it.
It doesn't matter. I will not be angry if the person(s) involved would please replace them. I promise there will be no repercussions and I will drop this matter if my Lean Pockets are returned immediately to the refrigerator by the anonymous selfish thief, who doesn't care that I have nothing to eat and was looking forward to those lean pockets all morning. They were the Chicken and Broccoli ones, just in case someone was wondering. I've never had that flavor before and they really looked delicious.
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