Most of you know that I live in Hoover, AL (insert banjo joke here). It's actually a nice place, very similar to Naperville, IL, but it has hills (the locals call them mountains) and good bbq. It also happens to be the home of Taylor Hicks, last night's American Idol winner. After last night's 12 hour marathon special, the city took to the streets, making the normally serene Birmingham suburb look more like Detroit after a hockey championship than the giant shopping mall it really is.
Aside from making certain my 1973 Vega was safe in the car port last night, I did find some other parts of the telecast interesting. Below are my thoughts, in no particular order.
The Bleaching of America
Flavor Flav's wife came out and sang the U2 song "One" with some guy named Elliott. I have to say Ms. Flave (I later found out she was Mary J. Blige) added a lot of soul and took ownership of the song. Elliott seemed to be afraid of her. The more she sang, the whiter he got. It was like watching someone bleach a pair of Hanes tighty-whities. At one point I saw the waistband dissolve under all the bleach, and holes open up in the undies. Elliott seemed reduced to an odd combination of Kenny Loggins and, well... pick a performer from Branson.
Ms. McDreamy Brings out "The Girls"
So last night Katharine McPhee sang with the Loaf. According to Seacrest Out, the Loaf has a new album coming out... Bat Out of Hell III. Hasn't the bat left hell three times now? Why does he keep coming back? I find this fascinating and want to talk to the bat. Anyway, Katharine probably could have won this thing had she sported "the girls" earlier and more often. Maybe it was just the island of misfit toys they assembled around her last night, but she wasn't hard on the eyes.
Dionne Found Some Not So Psyhic Friends...
And was able to keep her nose off of the mirror long enough to sing "That's What Friends are For." apparently she too has a new album I hope it is called "Cake on the Grill."
Charles Nelson Riley and Toni Braxton?
Who looks more uncomfortable in this photo, the scintillating Toni Braxton or the Gomer Pile/Charles Nelson Riley impersonator? I don't get this at all. I think they were singing "The Muffin Man," but I am not certain as I didn't have the sound on.
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