Here's to Subway...

Americans are inventors. Americans are consumers. Americans are lazy. Americans are stupid.
So it should come to no one's surprise that Americans are at the forefront of creating ways to make it easier to order food.

First it was McDonald's, who taught us to order by number. Feeling a little hungrier? Supersize it! Now Subway has taught me to order by the foot. With their "$5 One Foot campaign," Subway has made ordering processed meat so simple that even the dimmest bulb will find ordering a snap. "How hungry are you, Francis?" "I don't know Ted, I am feeling about 8" hungry."

I propose we take this to another level. At my restaurant each patron will be greeted with a piece of paper that has the following printed on it:

Food ___ Drink ___

The patron will be asked to check if they want food and or drink. We will then bring them food. What kind of food? How much food? That's really not necessary. All that is important is that this person will be fed and given beverage. Let's not sweat the details.