Gotta look like "one of the guys" tonight. Even if I hate them all. Wait, I have to drink beer while the guy on the left toasts with a grasshopper? That's bullshit! Nut, up, Jr!
OK, strategy change. Let's do a round of shots with the world's #1 dad, that will get the alcoholic vote and the dad vote! OK #1 dad, whoever finishes the shot first is really the number one dad!
Oh hells, yeah, I'm number 2! I still have bigger balls than you, number 1!
What's that feeling below my waist? It's tingling. I think I need to get this pant suit cleaned.
Gotta let these guys think they have a chance with me. Hi sailor, "wanna climb the Hills?" That sounded better in college, didn't it? Did you know my Secret Service name is "Pain Cave?"
OK, some one's getting laid tonight, and it might be you. Can you shave your legs and put a dress on? Listen after 5 minutes in the sack with me, you will forget all about my penis and will be a hell of a lot more interested in my health care plan.
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