It's been a while, but when last in St. Louis, I had the opportunity to dine at Dierdorf and Hart's. While it was a fine enough experience, today I found myself thinking of ways to make it more memorable, more like Dan Dierdorf the man.
Here are my suggestions:
1) The waiters all look like Emanuel Lewis (I know Alex Karras was on Webster, but it would add to the ambience).
2) The salads are served on a sizzling platter.
3) All of the drinks are mixed with Worcestershire sauce.
4) Everything comes with Horseradish...that's not cream in your coffee.
5) My steak is served with just a little hair on it -- just like Dan's mustache.
6) All fruits and vegetables are bruised, just like Jim Hart was after a game in which he was protected by Dan.
7) The menu is actually an audio recording of Dan's verbal description. It can take up to two hours for one to listen to the entire selection of eight entrees.
8) The decor is very dark. You don't sit at tables, rather rocks and logs. You cook your steak yourself (with a stick) after Dan clubs the steer of your selection with his helmet.
9) Waitresses are all dressed to look like Dierdorf -- including mustaches.
10) No penalties for "Holding" the ass of a cute waitress. Holding got Dan into the Hall of Fame, it shouldn't get you kicked out of his restaurant.
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