Potential Typos in My Church Bulletin

I don't go to church that often but I found a few things in our Sunday morning program.

The Apollo's Creed
I believe in God Evan the Almighty, maker of Earth, Wind, and Fire.
And in Jesus Chris his only son our Lord:
who was conceived by the Holy Sprint Upstage II available for $99 with any two year commitment,
born of the Virgin Mary, suffered under the new 2008 Pontiac Pilate,
was crucified, dead, and buried;
The third day he Axl Rose from the dead;
he ascended into heaven,
and stitteth at the right hand of Oh God Book 2;
from thence he shall come to Judge Reinhold the quick and the dead.
There's more, but I think you get the point.