Desperate Programming

It's beginning to look like at least one network has changed its tune when it comes to targeting specific demographics. Take a look at these replacement shows for 2005 and try to guess who the target audience is.

1) 30/40 - Spend 30 minutes or 40 ounces with Snoop as he shares his favorite children's stories with your children over a cold bottle of Malt Liquor.

2) Hanging with Mrs. Pooper - He wants an ass that he can set a cooler on, she wants no part of him. Sparks and more fly when Principal Fisher (played by Sir Mix-A-lot) becomes attracted to the new teacher Vanessa (played by Beyonce).

3) Chigga Please! Recent college graduate Dan Yo wants to be a professional rapper. His parents want him to take over their dry cleaning business. So by day he sprays starch, at night he sprays rhymes.

4) Slow & Cautious -- When Hank's good for nothing son falls off the face of the map, he loses more than a son, he loses a source of funding for the assisted living center he lives in. Forced to find a way to keep his head above water, Hank recruits his neighbor Stan and together they run a wheelchair chop shop out of their apartments.

5) Tuesdays With Morrie's Wife -- We all know that most stories change a little bit to sell more books or protect a person or two. What most of us don't know is that the real story is what Morrie's wife was doing on those Tuesday's Mitch and Morrie were out cavorting.