I Am Too White

For years I have made an effort to at least understand the "cutting edge" of our pop-culture. This doesn't mean I have embraced it, it just means that I made the effort to understand "what the kids" are interested in.

I know who Andy Dick is, David Spade is, the Ditech Guy, even Mr. Wendy. But I can no longer get my "urban vibe" going. I had no clue that there was actually a product named Crunk Energy Drink that can be purchased in what I am sure are the finest stores in America. I did not know that when mixed with your favorite adult beverage, Crunk Endegy Drink became Crunk Juice -- the drink all the people busy putting #1 hits on the billboard charts and caps in yo ass are chugging.

So, this weekend I spent a great deal of time "getting my urban on." I watched Black Knight, I,ROBOT, Ladie's Man, House Party:2, Drumline, Disorderlies all in a weak attempt to get some street cred. I even watched some Dave Chapelle, but I didn't seem to find my inner gansta, until I found Bill Bellamy's web site and stand up. This brutha is off the hook. I mean, who boy, the shit this ni#@A says are just stupid funny. He's like Carrot Top with Soul. David Brenner with Rhythm, and Paula Poundstone with a Penis -- ok, well you know what I mean. If there is a new Love Boat, I want this brother to be Isaac or I will take the guy from Good Burger.