A Public Service Announcement

The year is 1987, I am a freshman in college and my roommate is a guy named Don Fisher. Now, Don is a nice enough guy, he just hasn't made the move from high school to college. While some of us are out trying to meet women and sneaking into bars, Don is back in the residence hall watching the WWF and listening to Stryper.

There were a few occasions where I brought a lovely young lass back to the ranch to extend the evening only to be regaled in tales of Doink, The Hacksaw Jim Dugan, and Oz Fox's latest solo on "To Hell With the Devil." Needless to say the girls were mortified and any chance of extending the night even longer were immediately nullified.

Why do I share this with you? Guys, consider this as a Public Service Announcement. The ultimate Cock Block is back. Men, get ready to rent your hotel rooms, Stryper is back in action. Just look at the album cover! You can see the pain and anguish I felt every time I came back to my dorm room to see that Don was home and I had to move "the party" to the back seat of my Pontiac 6000 LE.

There are of course things you can do to make certain this does not happen to you.

1) Set clear ground rules that each of you can agree upon. A good example is: No Stryper posters are allowed to be visible. No Stryper music when visitors are in the room. Better yet, the person that owns anything Stryper must immediately move.

2) Call you roommate before getting to school. Discuss important issues like smoking, sexuality, and Stryper. Any college worth its tuition will move you based upon Stryper alone.

3) If your roommate likes Stryper, screen your new female friends carefully. Maybe they have a roommate that isn't around. If they are a mute, you can take them back to the ranch.

4) If steps 1 - 3 don't help you, contact the local Newman Center. Be sure to use a fake name, otherwise they will come looking for you at some point. Tell them your roommate is lonely and needs to get out. The Newman center will dispatch a group of maladjusted, pasty skinned kids over to your room immediately to welcome your roommate, invite them to the Newman Center for Little Caesar's and Mocktails. Want to assure that they become good friends? Buy Stryper concert tickets and use their weakness against them. You'll have at least one night you know the room is open.

Please share your Stryper or Dorm Room related stories by clicking on the Comments box!