Texting is for pussies. Typing with your thumbs? Please... strap one on, Playa.
Email is a grat way to talk about your latest bikini waxing.
You want to send a message? Use a stamp.
Want to send a message that will create a stir? Send it like a man would -- with a gun and a bottle of whiskey.
If you absolutely need to use a phone, use one that doubles as a weapon.
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